Love hurts…only if you want it to.

Cupid is coming to town and he or she will seduce everyone in the ‘arse’ with that darn arrow of love. February 14th is Valentine’s Day. It is an annually celebrated day of taking time to shower our loved ones with flowers and gifts, woo our secret admirers, and even pamper our fur-babies!

Love is a complex and complicated web of unexplainable emotions and relationship between people, their pets and their community.

In an image driven culture from Facebookers to Instagrammers, it can be tough to decipher what is real and what is ‘missing’.  This blog piece is for those of you looking for true love, falling in love or falling out of love.  So what is love? No one knows better than you.  There is a no right or wrong answer. Everyone has a unique set of needs and circumstances. You get to choose what’s good for you.

The truth of the matter is falling in love is easy. Staying in love is an endless work of give and take along with a huge dose of understanding and a load of patient. But falling out of love is tough, and much tougher on the person who didn’t see it coming.

Sometimes we look so hard for the perfect person that it causes you to miss out on what’s in front of you all along. I was looking in all the wrong places. When they say love is blind, it really is. While there are a trillion signs of a bad relationship, love can be intoxicating and despite the red flag of a bad relationship your decisions are unclear and blurred. Selena Gomez says it so well in her song ‘The heart wants what it wants’:

“…Save your advice ’cause I won’t hear
You might be right but I don’t care
There’s a million reasons why I should give you up…”

There were times when I trusted too much and it backfired. Everyone at some point in their life has experienced this. I too have had my fair share of relationships gone wrong. I was a big skeptic and I thought true love was impossible to achieve. At one time, I was at rock bottom. Life was just unfair and nothing I did was right.  I was ready to live the rest of my life alone. But He had other plans, so He brought into my life the man whom I now call my husband. Our relationship is not perfect but it’s pretty close. On that note I want to share what I have learned so that you may one day find the same:

  1. Find Someone Who Inspires and Challenge You. You’ll know when you meet the right person because your life is enriched by their presence instead being more complicated. You’ll be inspired to take risks and be a better version of you. Likewise you have to do the same for your partner.
  2. Expect Change and Adapt. Much like anything else in life, change is the only constant. People change and so does relationship. Life happens, it is inevitable. While the beginning of every relationships feels heavenly in a cloud of champagne, chocolate and a bed of roses — it takes effort from the both of you to keep it this way. Change with each other and practice more tolerance instead of anger moments and fill your heart with resentment and hate.
  3. Build Trust and Have Faith. This is the most important because it applies to in your search for love, during your relationship and after finding your life partner. Although love is great. Trust is the most important because once you lose it, love doesn’t matter. In every relationship building trust in each other and having faith that despite your struggles it will work out. We may not always know the reason right away but one day you’ll look back and have a “ah-ha” moment.
Christina Arriaga

“The First Dance” -Christina Arriaga. Photo by Ailyn La Torre Photography

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a love doctor and most definitely not Cupid Chann!  All I know is, life without love is bland so you have to keep an open mind and expect that “every once in a while in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.”

Each of our relationship is a journey with our own combination of compliments and challenges.  Until then just press reset and love a little deeper, speak a little sweeter and forgive a little more. Don’t give up, just open your heart.

 

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